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Return to Thailand 2020

I haven’t written a single blog post since 2019 because of the major disruptions caused by the pandemic. I spent most of 2020 in a state of mental fog and depression fatigue. In January of 2020, I returned to Thailand alone to visit a meditation retreat in Chiang Mai and arranged to stay until April to celebrate Songkran, the Thai new year. However, things didn’t go as planned. For one, I fell very ill, possibly with COVID, because I had all the symptoms but never tested for it. Upon rumors of countries shutting down borders, I decided it would be wiser to fly home early in February. A month later, the pandemic was officially declared worldwide, and my trip became a distant memory. More than a year later, I am (figuratively) dusting off my souvenirs in order to share this amazing experience.


After the initial previous trip in January 2019 with Mia, I felt a strong urge to return. This time, I wanted to experience rural Thailand and live amongst Buddhist monks. I learned about Buddhism first when I was 18 and instantly connected with the philosophy. I entertained the romantic notion of living surrounded by monks in some temple on the top of the Himalayas. I wasn’t ready yet to abandon all my possessions for a life of celibacy. I decided to dip my toes instead.




Arrival at Pa Pae

After some research, I chose to stay at a meditation retreat in the small town of Pa Pae in Chiang Mai. It was perfect because I could remain there for as long as I wanted without any major commitments. I also was struggling with a fever and had trouble breathing. Not wanting to be discouraged by what I thought was the flu, I pushed through with the help of some Advil.


The surroundings were unreal. The retreat is located within a small, vibrant rural farming community. Villagers engaged in cultivating rice fields, growing tea, oranges and coffee or raising livestock. To the horizon, large valleys of lush greenery and dense trees, imposing mountains encompassing everything around. In this part of the country, nights get cold and the temperature drops as low as 10 celsius. A stark difference from daytime warm tropical weather.




I was welcomed by a friendly monk at my arrival in perfectly good English. There were no massive temples. Rather, it was like an open concept, one with space and nature. Amenities included showers with hot water, electricity, a full kitchen serviced by cooks, cabins and tents for lodging. All scattered across a hilly forest. It was pretty much a luxury for this type of stay. They did cater for tourists, after all. Meditation spots were also dispersed over the acreage. They all had inspiring names like bamboo swing, moon hall garden, jungle hall, and even a tree house. Each spot conveyed a feeling of serenity and inspiration for deep introspection. Temporary visitors had to wear a white garment during their stay. Men and women were given a one size garb which signified simplicity, purity and especially to avoid distractions.



Monk Lifestyle

A rhythmic routine was established soon after for the remainder of the stay. Permuting between meditation, personal time and vegetarian meals. I learned a great deal about meditation and came to see it as a necessity, like personal hygiene. Just as you take care of your body with exercise, you must also take care of your mind. Meditation sessions were held by the head monk, referred to as Phra Ajarn, which is a Thai language term that means teacher. He was very intelligent, wise and had a good sense of humor. He laughed like Yoda and what made it interesting is he didn’t know who Yoda was.


We also had two other teachers that complemented the head monk. One was a Polish monk who had spent a great deal traveling and learning about mysticism. He brought a more serious and cerebral aspect to the teachings. Another was a young American from Atlanta who also had a great deal of experience, knowledge, and wisdom. I learned a great deal from him as his instructions were easy to understand and relatable to life examples.



Master Yoda ;)


The resident monks all came from different backgrounds. There was an artist from Hong Kong that lived in monkhood every year. A British man was soul searching after a failed marriage. A young German-Thai teenager was honoring his parents and tradition. A Thai from Australia that tried to control his foul mouth and negative impulses. A resort manager from Indonesia to assist in administration tasks (he’s the one that greeted me). A Frenchman just wanting to dip his toes in monkhood. They all had their reasons, but they were all motivated by the same goals. Find inner peace, abide in the present moment, and find fulfillment in its simplicity.


I learned that meditation can be practiced in different forms and not just by sitting. One technique, for example, is by walking slowly, mindful of each footstep. Sitting down with crossed legs always made me uncomfortable. Either my legs went numb or my back hurt. In order to experience meditation fully, the logic was to not be distracted by anything, including discomfort. The third meditation form was chanting in ancient Sanskrit. The vibrations of the notes created a trance-like state of mind, which induced a focused mind into the present.



Hair cutting ceremony


During the entire stay, I also had the chance to try cooking a traditional Thai meal, fly a hot air paper lantern, visiting kids at a nearby school, offering a golden leaf to be stowed on a Buddha, drinking the best orange juice of my life in an orange orchard, forest hike, bath in geothermal water, visiting a temple in the shape of a boat and meeting with traveling monks. I even practiced the morning alms with the monks by walking barefoot.




This experience could not have been timed better. Upon my arrival back to Bangkok just as my symptoms started to alleviate, I got sick even more this time with debilitating fever. My wife decided to put me on the earliest plane and fly me back just as the rumors of border shutdowns were being discussed. A month after my return to Canada, the pandemic was officially declared. Through this entire time of fog, I remembered what I had learned in Pa Pae. The wisdom and the practice of meditation kept me going and still does.


Flying paper lanterns



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